The things you don't want to have to see at gym

(all of which I saw tonight ... sigh)

The Gym Couple
Matching outfits, matching iPods, matching killer bodies. I sometimes wonder about the advantages versus disadvantages of going to gym with your sig other. A built-in gym partner, someone to keep you motivated, sure. But what about the whole sweaty, flushed face, panting ... oh wait, starting to get it. Still, 'Squeeze baby! Work those glutes' isn't my idea of foreplay.

The Model
Flailing limp-wristedly at the air with her spaghetti arms. What is this girl doing in a Kata Box class? (Or the gym at all for that matter.) One needs to have consumed more than carrot sticks for the past few weeks to attain the necessary degree of aggression such a class requires.

The Perfect Girl
You can't hate her being a waif, but you can hate her for having the perfect 'normal' body (read: not underweight, but very fucking far from your average), shiny bouncy hair and not a sweat drop in sight. And she looks better in her gym vest than you do after an hour's grooming for a night out.

The Chubby Girl
...who for once in this hub of toned, taut bodies makes you feel slightly superior. And then immediately after like the worst human being in the world for having such uncharitable thoughts.

A Kauai Cappuccino Muffin
I literally ran to the car to escape temptation. They shouldn't spring that stuff on you.

Moose Knuckle
Enough said.