I was run over by a train

At least I think so. What other possible explanation could there be for me feeling this way?

Oh. Wait. It might be last night's red wine. And maybe the Jager. And the tequila. And the martini. And the lethal chocolate cake shots.

Yeah, could be those.

In about half an hour when I sober up, I am going to feel awful.

All I can say is, thank god for Barusso's. If it weren't for leftover pizza for breakfast, I doubt I'd have made it out of bed this morning.