Happy ♥ day

Pulls on your heartstrings, doesn't it? Sorry, you know I love a bad pun.

Love Valentine's? Did you get spoilt rotten by your other half? Is the world all butterflies and unicorns with rainbows coming out of their bums for you today?

Nobody cares.

Hate Valentine's? Are you spouting off statistics about how many trees get cut down so Hallmark can print pink and red cards containing worthless platitudes? Or informing everyone you know about how the origin of this nauseating holiday lies in the death of a Roman priest?

Nobody cares.

Everyone just keep calm, eat a heart-shaped chocolate, and carry on. Okay?

Besides, not only is tomorrow Hump Day, you can probably also smash all of those Woollies pink foil-covered goodies into your face tomorrow for 25-50% off.