It's D-day

9.51 am
Today is the day I find out whether or not I have a job. I have been on tenterhooks since early this morning (I really have, but also I've just always wanted to say that).

11.30 am
Wandering aimlessly around the house, too strung out to concentrate on anything, too lazy to go gym.

11.37 am
Have taken to carrying phone around in pocket of slouchy pants whilst meandering from room to room, just in case it rings and I don't hear it. Or worse, am in bathroom.

12.00 pm
Finished Love in the Time of Cholera. Feel I have somehow betrayed Gabriel Garcia Marquez by not really being able to concentrate on the last few pages.

12.05 pm
Back to wandering aimlessly.

12.10 pm
Realise that if call ever actually comes, am not even entirely sure what I'm hoping they'll say. A normal person would be gunning for a yes, I know. But who ever said I was remotely normal?
Possible reaction if yes: Hooray, have job can shop. Followed swiftly by The Fear, along the lines of, oh fuck can I even do this job? Is this what I want? What if something more me is out there?
Possible reaction if no: Relief. Can continue living in pyjamas, drinking too much tea and dreaming of finding The Perfect Job...ie not having to live in the real world. Followed swiftly by despair, along the lines of, will I ever find a job? Or will I slowly drink myself into insolvency and wake up one morning cold and alone and with no prospects (or nice shoes)?

1.00 pm
Seventy-fifth cup of tea (or near estimate). Decide it's time for lunch. Cannot settle on anything except rusks dunked in tea.

1.30 pm
Come up with novel idea of boiling an egg. Oh the excitement. However it did distract me for a whole five minutes, so thanks little egg. Sorry I ate you.

2.23 pm
Boyfriend kindly takes my mind off things work-related.
(No, not like that. Perverts.)

3.20 pm
Voicemail. Why oh why does my phone decide not to ring sometimes? Possible future employers want me to come in tomorrow to sit a test. Waiting finally over. Inner debate still rages, but have been given stay of execution.