Elin formerly-Woods, will you marry me?

R741 million rand, and a few properties in Florida and California – and you know those aren't studio apartments or single-storey cottages.

I think I would sign up to have my husband's many sleazy affairs splashed across the tabloids if that was the payload at the end of it all. Money can't buy happiness, but it can buy servants, expensive shoes and international travel, which is really the same thing in my book.

In other news, it's humpday, so apart from sitting here planning how to get a ridiculously wealthy international sports star to marry me, cheat on me, divorce me and give me half, not too much exciting is going on.

Oh and to the green Uno on Buitengracht yesterday: it's called an indicator because you use it to indicate that you are changing lanes. Just a tip. From the person whose Biscuit you nearly maimed.