Thursday, June 10, 2010

To the Gods of Weight Loss

I understand that the kilo and a half I've gained since the beginning of the year has nothing to do with any vindictiveness on your part and everything to do with my having been participating somewhat too enthusiastically in the food and drink olympics of late.

However, there are a few other complaints I wish to lodge.

Firstly, when I decide (as I did on Monday) that it is time to take myself in hand, eat healthily and start exercising regularly again, if you could rather not send yet another half kilo my way (as I discovered you had done when weighing myself this morning, and after three days of restricting and gym), that would be great.

Also, if you could not position a bambi-legged mother and daughter team right in front of me at a mostly invigorating, quite challenging and somewhat disheartening body conditioning class before work this morning, that would be very much appreciated.

Thirdly, when – when, WHEN? – did I acquire cankles? Please remove at your earliest convenience.

I lay these requests at your mighty, bony feet.

Sincerely,
Jade

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