RUN!

This isn't me, but damn I'd like it to be.

Went for my first run on the promenade yesterday, which (if you include running on the treadmill on Wednesday morning) brings my total number of running training sessions in 2012 up to two.

Which brings my total number of running training sessions in my life, pretty much, up to two.

Late last year I read about the annual Mouille Point Lighthouse Nite (their spelling, not mine) Race. It's 10 km along the Sea Point prom, from the lighthouse to Bantry Bay or so and back, in a loop. Sounded quite fun, until I reminded myself, 'Yeah but Jade, you don't run. You can't.'

And then I realised I was tired of hearing myself say things like that. Yes I've never really run for more than a minute in my life without getting out of breath, but everyone starts somewhere right? And the reason I think I can't, is because I haven't actually tried. Because, as with so many things in my life, I'm scared that trying might lead to failing, and I grew up believing that failing was not an option. I never tried out for the soccer team, never ran for prefect, never aimed to get a first in a varsity course I vaguely struggled with (in fact I opted to drop out of first year at one point, rather than not get the tertiary education equivalent of straight As), mostly because I was scared of what would happen if I had a dream and it didn't come true.

So I am going to try. Even if it's hard, even if I don't turn out to be gifted at it, even if I suck. My goal is to start training, and finish that race. After that, I'll see if I want to carry on with this running malarkey. But at the moment, it just feels good to have a goal. Scary, yes, the whole whatifIdon'tachieveit thing, but it's a new and exciting feeling too.