Thursday, September 30, 2010

C is for cereal and carrots and (rice) cakes

6.4 kg from goal weight (sigh, this is why one shouldn't weigh every day)

Last day of ABC alphabet soup! Does Vitamin C water count as a C? I'm going with yes...

Today's plan then...
  • Breakfast – cereal (hi-fibre bran)
  • Snack – (rice) cakes
  • Lunch – cereal (muesli)
  • Snack – carrot sticks
  • Dinner – cereal (Pro-nutro – god I love this stuff, and almost never let myself eat it.)

Made it to gym this morning for a little cardio too (hey? hey?).

EDIT: Had a few almonds after my rice cakes, because I am clearly a retard and cannot spell.

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Damn

Damn, damn damn. Three little biscuits, a small box of popcorn, a hot chocolate and a bite of Bunny's scone were so not part of the plan today (and only one even legitimately begins with B). Nor was hi-fibre bran for lunch particularly nutritious, but by the time one o'clock came around my tummy was growling too much for me to go out and make an attempt at finding something to make a salad with.

Oh well. On the bright side, when I came home from the movies I found that my brother had come over, and he and the rest of the house (look how I get around saying 'parents') were having Nando's for dinner. And though the fresh, crispy, buttery Portuguese rolls and the lovely warm chips were practically calling to me, begging me to eat them, I have instead dived into my laptop and am studiously avoiding them.

So points for me there at least I guess, despite the pre-movie, movie and post-movie slip-ups.
Incidentally, if you're wondering why B is not for

Bacon
Banana
Barley
Beans
Beets
Blueberries
Bok Choy
Brocolli or
Brussel sprouts

it's because, well, that would be one hell of a despressing day. On the bright side, given the amazing baking prowess of our freelancer who is in today by some willpower-testing joke of the Diet Gods, B may just be for (one, very small chocolate) biscuit later this afternoon.

It also may be for (small) box of popcorn at the movies tonight. Maybe. We'll see.

B is for Breadless! (Which is what I've been, and plan to be for the rest of, this week.)

6 kg from goal weight

Possibly my toughest challenge yet. I love bread in a Big Way. Most people who know me know that if I were on death row, I'd request a nice slice of toast with Flora as my last meal.

My family has teased me for years about my addiction. I love bread in the way some people love chocolate, or bacon, or, say, their children.

I love fresh bread. I love toast. I love croissants. I love bagels. Ciabbatas, baguettes, rye, seedloaf, white bread – hell, I'll even include banana bread, despite the fact that the fruit itself is anathema to me. If I had to choose one meal to eat for a year, it would not be chocolate (close second) or pizza or (christ almighty) salad, it would be bread.

Get the picture?

In my opinion – and I don't want to offend anyone who subscribes to organised religion here but – there's a reason that the Catholic Lord's Prayer says, 'Give us this day, our daily bread...'

The problem is, because I love it so much, it's pretty much my fallback meal, which means I am seriously lacking in the nutirtion stakes. Lunch is usually toast with avo, cottage cheese, regular cheese or peanut butter or Marmite (depending on how far gone the month and the money is). Dinner in winter was quite often soup with a slice of toast. On weekends, breakfast – toast.

Therefore in order to challenge myself to change my woeful eating habits (the whole point of this crazy week by the way), I am nixing the bread and trying to come up with other alternatives.

And just by way of a round-up, I survived yesterday's A day thus:
4 cups of tea (give a girl a break)
3 bowls of all-bran
2 Granny Smith apples
1 large handful of almonds

Not bad?

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Some frivolity: the back-up dress

So I'm going to a day wedding in November, and have decided that last night's impulse purchase is definitely my Back-up Dress.

What's a Back-up Dress I hear you ask?

Well, the Back-up Dress is something I like to think I invented. After always screeching around boutiques at the last minute, looking for the perfect dress to wear to some important event, I realised that I could obliterate all that unnecessary stress with this simple solution:

The Back-up Dress is a dress that, although not exactly the showstopper you had in mind, is nonetheless perfectly wearable and already waiting in your closet, putting your mind at ease and allowing you to shop for The Perfect Dress at a more leisurely pace. And hey, if you don't end up finding it, no worries, you've got the BD – and it doesn't even have to be little or black.

Note: important features of the BD include that it still make you feel lovely inside and that it be preferably returnable.

A is for apple (and all-bran, and almonds)

6.4 kg from goal weight

I survived the water fast.

Decided that hanging out at home feeling limp and miserable wasn't going to cut it for the last few hours before bed, so took myself to a little pre-loved sale in Vredehoek with Noodle. Little did I know that upon walking into our friend's flat I would be greeted not just by clothes, shoes and bags at silly low prices, but also by a table bearing popcorn, melba toast, a selection of cheese, and Graham Beck Railroad Red – just a few of my favourite things. Managed to assuage my by then grumbling tum with ice water and the impulsive purchase of a dress by Copelia.

So, onwards and upwards, and on to, as promised, the new plan. Have decided that until the end of September (where did it go??) I am going to let a letter of the alphabet dictate my diet for the day. So between now and Thursday we're playing Alphabet Soup! Today is A, and if I managed a day of nothing but water (incidentally probably the first day since I was about six that I haven't had at least one cup of tea) then I'm fairly certain I can make it through Tuesday on All-bran, apples and almonds...

Monday, September 27, 2010

Well thank god, the work day is nearly over. Looking forward to going home and vegging, possibly having a nice bubble bath.

Not that today was particularly hard. Somehow didn't even hear the faintest of tummy grumblings through the day, probably thanks to all that water I've been chugging down. Who would have believed I'd actually make it through?  (Yes yes, I know there are a good couple hours to go still...)

Only stumbling blocks were Martha Stewart's Cookie of the Day recipe, a decided lack of support for what I'm trying to accomplish, the smell of our staff writer's microwave popcorn wafting over to me, and this quote, by Isabel Allende, who I am currently reading:
 
I repent of my diets, the delicious dishes rejected out of vanity, as much as I lament the opportunities for making love that I let go by because of pressing tasks or puritanical virtue.

Anyway, I'm sure breakfast tomorrow is going to taste like a little bit of heaven. Despite how easy today actually turned out to be, I'm not planning a second round. I've proved my point to myself, no need to be extremist...

Okay I'm a weakling

I've been awake since seven, which means I've only been fasting for a measly six or so hours, but already I'm fantasising about a sandwich. I guess thanks to my usual grazing habits (oh and er, a weekend bingeathon) my tummy feels like it's missed a good few 'meals' already.

It also doesn't help that I'm working on a run-down of Cape Town's best restaurants and wineries, which means describing in detail all manner of wine, cheese and all things delicious, not to mention the pictures I'm stumbling upon online.

But I will not cave.

Day one

7.7 kg from goal weight 
(There's no way in hell I'm posting my actual weight – I may die of embarrassment – so for now this will serve as my running tally.)

So here I go, attempting to survive the day on nothing but water. In an attempt to make this more doable, I skipped gym this morning. Felt lazy not sweating out the weekend's excesses on the cardio circuit, but I think it was the sane thing to do.

Managed to get out of bed and into the office on time without my morning cup of tea, so so far so good I figure. Of course, now I'm all optimistic and thinking about extending it for more than a day, but I realise that by one o'clock I may have to be forcibly stopped from licking other people's lunches, so for now I'm sticking to the modest goal of a one-day fast.

Didn't sleep well last night. When I was wasn't jumping in and out of bed at every noise in the street thinking it was someone breaking into Biscuit, I was worrying about today. Not worrying that I may be tired, or hungry, or weak, or not able to work properly, but worrying that something would happen and I wouldn't be able to see out a day of no food. The blow my self-esteem would take from that, would be awful. I mean, if I can't control my body for just one day, I must really be quite pathetic.

Anyway, I decided to use that lying-awake time wisely and come up with a plan for the rest of the week. Won't bore you with it now, but look out for Alphabet Soup, coming to a blog near you!

Sunday, September 26, 2010

Warning: this blog is about to get extremely single-minded.

It's now very little more than three months until I turn the grand old age of 24, and I have decided that I will NOT go into another year of life having not achieved my weight-loss goals. It almost doesn't matter to me that I've ticked the others off (degree, tick. job, tick. first car, tick, published, tick...) when there's still this constant batlle between me and my scales.

So, in an attempt to prevent myself from getting in my own way (and because nothing else seems to have worked yet), I am now going to go public with my mission. Hopefully being accountable to the internet at large will give me that extra bit of willpower I need to resist slices of buttery toast and various office birthday cupcakes. This is either going to work like a charm, or be a very embarrassing exercise in public humiliation. Here's hoping for the latter.

I indulged in my last day of dietary freedom by going to Raw Cafe with Bunny where, despite the misleading name, we managed to drown ourselves in coffee and cake so good that the backgammon game we'd initially been very excited about fell by the wayside. A great little spot incidentally, which seems to catch the spillover from the ever-popular Sidewalk Cafe up the road, though Raw deserves the business in its own right.

Feel a little bit sick now after the carroty-icingy-chocolatey fest (how did I make that sound yuck?), so much so that I'm almost looking forward to my water fast tomorrow.

Yes that's right. I – the girl who can usually only sustain a diet as far as morning teatime – am about to embark on my very first fast. Feels like the kind of thing to do to kick this project off right. Nothing so dramatic as a Master Cleanse or anything, just a simple day of consuming nothing but lovely, cleansing, calorie-free, good-old aych-too-oh. A mere twenty-four hours, starting tomorrow morning. Baby steps I figure.

Friday, September 24, 2010

Happy Braai Day!

YES, I am blogging because YES I am in the office even thougb YES it is a public holiday in South Africa and YES it is typical that just when I decide to take what is technically a weekend day to catch up on work it happens to finally stop raining.

At any rate, I won't be here much longer, so thought I would send my plaintive cry of 'poor me' into the world and then finish up writing about any and every decent restaurant in Cape Town, because it's not like talking about butter-poached crayfish tail and white chocolate croutons (not together obviously) is making me hungry or anything...

Thursday, September 23, 2010

So after multiple fresh starts and, er, less than multiple kilos lost (an ego-cushioning way of saying zero, zilch, zippo), I have decided that it's time to accept that the whole exercise-and-healthy-eating thing is NOT the be all and end all of weight loss.

It's time for something more drastic.

After spending the past couple of hours (we went to print early okay?) googling all manner of diets, eating plans, detoxes and exercise regimes, I have decided that I need to do one or more of the following:
  1. Visit a dietitian.
  2. See a psychologist.
  3. Hire a personal trainer at Virgin Active, or take part in Wembley's Biggest Loser programme. 
  4. Join Weight Watchers.
  5. Do a mad detox, like the Master Cleanse or Debaloo's awful Danish Royal Hospital diet.
  6. Find a pro-ana site and learn to starve.
  7. Save up for liposuction.
Sadly a few of these require some serious money, but hey, I'm prepared to throw drinking money at the problem if needs be. Will whittle these down over the weekend into some kind of a plan and kick off (yet another) fresh start on Monday morning.

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Looking up

The Cape Town sky is still steely grey but my own personal thunderstorm has rolled back out to sea thank goodness.

Pointless post. Just wanted to let the universe at large know that I will no longer bite off your head / eat your children / dissolve into tears at a moment's notice.

It was touch and go for a while there...

Black Tuesday

God another one? I hate experiencing myself in a bad mood. Maybe it's something to do with my pathological need to be liked, but when I've got the cartoon thunderclouds hovering over my head, even I don't want to be around me.

Woke up in a very unhappy place this morning, largely thanks to the endlessly frustrating tug of war between me, my body and my bedroom mirror. This was exasperated by the fact that I was running late, and then couldn't decide what to wear on yet another stormy day in Cape Town. It's the 21st of September, isn't that supposed to be some big meteorological turning point or something? Why is it still winter?

So I rushed out of the house, hating my sartorial lack of effort, hating my body, hating my breakfast cereal, hating the weather and just generally feeling hateful.

You know those mornings when you drive to work, and part of you is wishing you'd get involved in some nasty car accident, just so that you wouldn't have to deal with the coming day? That was me.

Sighness. Black Tuesday indeed.

Monday, September 20, 2010

Rain, rain, go away...

Okay Cape Town, get it together now. It's spring. What's with this windy, rainy, cloudy thing you've got going on today?

Schnoodle loodle grrrARGH *whirr* ping! &*% kapfffffffffft.

I really don't feel like being at work right now. Unfortunately, it's not even quite noon yet, so here's to another five hours of what seems to be an office-wide Glum Monday. I know why I'm down (1 x miserable weather forecast, 1 x plane carrying Boyfriend away last night), but I'm sitting here wondering about everyone else's mood too.

The other problem is, even though I don't fancy being here right now, I'm not too keen to be at home either. Or out. Or at gym.

Ever have that? I wish someone would come and put me into some kind of space-aged sleeper pod where I could switch off for a little while, and only resurface when I was good and ready to smile and participate in life again. Just a few blank hours to shake off this dialtone kind of mood, and then go back to being busy, enthusaiastic Jade.

Failing that, I'd settle for a chocolate brownie.

Anyone?

The weekend in numbers

Number of G&Ts on Friday night: Just 2. But they're growing on me. I find lately the drier the alcohol, the more I like it. 

Number of comped dinners: 1. Working for a foodie magazine has its benefits. Boyfriend and I spent a lovely evening at Brio (the old Riboville) in the CBD on Saturday night, where we were stuffed full of good food and wine and looked after like royalty. A girl could get used to this...

Number of new experiences: 1. Had snails for the first time at the aforementioned fabulous dinner. Quite pleasant and not at all garden-y, although that may be because they were smothered in Roquefort cheese.

Number of kilometres Biscuit got from a quarter tank: 250. Colour me impressed by my little fuel-injected darling. I swear it's because I talk to her every day.

Number of tornadoes that hit NYC, where friends of mine are honeymooning: 2. Waiting anxiously to hear from them (the couple, not the tornadoes).

Number of TV sex gods who came back from the dead: 2. Eric Northman and Chuck Bass. I love it when they don't really kill off the good-looking ones.

Number of lessons learnt: 1. Trying to detach yourself from a potentially painful situation does not guarantee you won't still get hurt.

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

The good, the bad and the ugly

The good
  • I survived another team-building hike on Friday. Just barely though. The half-hour meander to Crystal Pools turned into a six-hour up-and-down slog when we decided to try for the pool on top of the mountain (our first mistake) and subsequently got lost in the ledges.
  • It's only Wednesday morning and I've already been to gym four times since Monday.
  • Boyfriend is arriving tomorrow night, only two weeks since the last time he was here. Gosh, I nearly feel like a normal couple.
  • My awesome financial advisor gave me a box of chocolates yesterday, just to say thanks for investing my hard-earned ducket with him (and pretty much guaranteeing I'm going to stick with him – you feed a girl chocolate, she's never leaving, I'm just saying...).
The bad
  • Work's been a little, er, manic this week so far and I haven't had the chance to blog. I know my legions of loyal readers are heartbroken...
  • Still can't shake this cold, although I suppose when I do things like go swimming in the miserable Cape Town weather I have nobody to blame but myself.
  • It's more than a week till payday and Biscuit's petrol light is on.
The ugly
  • Lady Gaga's VMA meat dress. And (better? worse?) this (clicky clicky).
  • I went for a random cholesterol check over the weekend, and discovered mine to be surprisingly high (surprising because I exercise, am not a steak girl, can't remember the last time I had an egg and don't smoke).

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

So I decided to try and be all self-aware and start journalling in my lunch hour again. Didn't really work out.

My whole life I've had this love/hate (mostly hate) relationship with keeping a journal. I've tried – god knows I've tried – to be one of those girls who keeps a series of pretty notebooks in which she scrawls her deep and meaningful thoughts or blow-by-blow accounts of her daily adventures, usually in pretty script-like handwriting.

Well, after many attempts between the ages of six and 23, I feel I can safely say that that is just not me. As much as I'm terrified of forgetting whole chunks of my life because nobody is writing this shit down, I've also decided it's simply not worth the angst.

This is what happens:

  1. I buy an overly priced but extremely pretty bound notebook and begin to scribble down my thoughts.
  2. I  reread the page and want to vomit at my own naivete/wishy-washy authorial voice/messy scrawl (okay I've been told I have the neatest hanfwriting anyone's ever seen, but being a perfectionist, nothing is, well, ever perfect). 
  3. I  persevere for a few days, weeks or months with sporadic entries and various catch-up lists, trying to ignore my wonky margins and schizophrenic handwriting (it varies depending on my emotional state when writing). 
  4. I give up and either chuck the half-used up notebook into my memory box (something I am good at keeping) or rip out the pages and surrender them to the bin.
  5. I feel paralysed with fear that one day when I'm 90 I will have forgotten this fight/epiphany/happy weekend because it is not recorded in black and white. (For some reason this seems very important.)
See? Angst. And not worth it. So I give up. My written legacy will just have to be my best-selling magnum opus.

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

I think, I think, I think...

I think I'm going to take the week off gym.

*Waits for the universe to come crashing down around ears*

I missed out on yesterday morning's cardio session as was taking Boyfriend to the airport, and on Friday Team Copy-eds is taking the day off to go on our annual team-building extravaganza (read: walking up to Crystal Pools to laze in the sun with books and tea and the gentle rustle of baboons trying to steal our picnic lunch). Also, I'm not feeling 100%, and since I'm already missing two days of exercise, it seems logical to make this my once-in-a-blue-moon off week.

Doesn't help that immediately after the idea occurred to me I remembered that lately I've been eating like every meal was my last and have gained one of the kilos I lost, making a week's reprieve a bad idea as well as undeserved.

Still, I may just take the leap and give in to being a fat, lazy lump for a week. Apart from my self-esteem, my goal weight and my endorphin levels, what could it hurt?
So I managed to make it through Monday floating on a cloud of post-anniversary-weekend-away-in-Franschhoek happiness.

This morning, not so much. Woke up feeling rather flat, which is such a downgrade from yesterday's sparkly glow that it feels almost like a Black Tuesday. This could be for any or all of the following reasons:
  1. I hate what I'm wearing today.  
  2. I have made the opposite of progress on the losing weight front.
  3. I have a meeting with my financial advisor again today, at which point I will have to tell him that while I am thrilled with his services (that sounds dirty), a review of my finances has revealed that I haven't a cent to invest at the moment, so very sorry. I really don't like saying no to/disappointing people.
  4. I'm sick.
  5. I'm restless.
  6. I'm broke.
Okay, that was cathartic. Maybe I can shake this negativity after all.

Thursday, September 2, 2010

Cape Town's weather is being typically contrary – two September days of rain and storm clouds and counting. Ordinarily I wouldn't mind (what better excuse for spending the whole weekend snuggled on the couch with popcorn and a blanket than miserable meteorology?) but I had been hoping for a little sun over the next three days.

Why, you may ask...

Because I'm taking tomorrow off work and then Boyfriend and I are heading to Franschhoek to celebrate our two-year anniversary.

Sorry, just pausing quickly to savour your jealousy.

Where was I?

Oh yes, three days of heaven right around the corner. I can hardly wait. I can hardly work. I can hardly ... pack.

Why is this always such a problem for me? I consider myself a pretty good packer (I'm neat, I'm thorough, I hardly ever forget anything), it's just that it takes me forever. I started yesterday afternoon and while there are neat piles of clothes all over my couch and regimentally lined up toiletries on my dresser, there is nothing actually inside my suitcase yet.

I am one of those people who cannot bear being caught on the hop, therefore packing to go anywhere for more than a night involves imagining every eventuality and then putting together an outfit for it.
I once packed an umbrella and a bikini into the same overnight bag, just in case. Do you see the problem here?